Bag Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Once upon a time, the six peoples were traveling in a private plane and that six persons were bollywood king sharukh khan, congress president sonia gandhi, railway minister lalu yadav, small boy, one old man and a pilot.
Suddenly the problem starts in a plane so pilot told everybody to get out but the problem was there were only 5 parachutes but the people were six.
So first our bollywood king sharukh has jumped from the plane by saying, “Bollywood needs me. ”
Next our sonia by saying, “Congress need me. ”
Then our respected laluji by saying, “Hamari railway ko meri bahut jarurat hain bhai. ”
Then pilot, old man and small boy remained in the plane but the problem was there was only one parachute but 2 peoples to jump so the old man told small boy beta, “you jump bcoz I have spent my whole life but you have your future ahead so I will sacrifice for you. ”
Suddenly that small boy laugh and says we both can more...
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, What do you have in the bag? The blonde replies: I have chickens! The man thinks for a moment and says, If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one? The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, Okay, but I`ll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens, I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.
They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165, 000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lad says, "I make bets".
The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "for example, I'll bet you $25, 000 that your balls are square". "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet".
The old lady says,"So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25, 000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady says more...
I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in an airsickness courtesy bag.
After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?"
I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."