Bali Jokes

An elderly couple returns home from a night out on the town. The husband immediately starts to pack his bags. The wife asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies,"I'm going to Bali."

"Bali?" she asks, "Why Bali?" The man says, "Simple. Every time you make love there they give you ten dollars."

The woman then immediately starts packing her bags. And her husband asks, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Bali too."

The husband questions why she is going. She replies, "I want to see how you are going to live on twenty dollars a year!"

REAL STORY: A Cork Radio Station in Ireland, 96 FM, was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali for a week.
The DJ, Neil, had many callers; the following two, needless to say, stood out:
DJ: 96FM, what's your name?
Caller: Hi, me name's Dave.
DJ: Dave, what is your word?
Caller: Goan: spelled G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an.'
DJ: We are just checking that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, 'goan' is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now, for a trip for two to Bali, can you make a sentence using that word and at the same time making logical sense?
Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"
At this point, the DJ cut the caller short and announced that there was no place for that sort of language on a family show.
After many more unsuccessful calls, the DJ took the more...

This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this:
Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Hmmmmm... about 10 minutes.
Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?
Brian: Ohhhh, I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K.... O.K.... On the kitchen table.
Presenter:(and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.
Presenter: Hi Sharelle, more...

A couple went to a fair. In the milling crowds the two were separated from each other. The husband reported the loss of his wife to the police and advertised it in the newspapers. No trace of the lady could be found. As a last resort the husband went to the temple and made a tearful prayer before the image of Sri Ram Chandra/r' Bhagwari. I have lost my wife. Please use your divine powers and restore her to me.'
Bhagwan Ram Chandra// replied:' My good man! Go along the road till you get to the temple of Hanuman. When I lost my wife, it was Bajrang Bali who found her for me.'