Balloon Jokes / Recent Jokes
Pappu blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother, Jeeto, tells him to stop it as he`s liable to break something.
He continues. "Pappu!" Jeeto screams. "Knock it off. You`re going to break something."
He stops and eventually she leaves for a short trip to the store. Pappu starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet.
Jeeto comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she`s finished she looks down and can`t believe what she`s seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She`s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.
The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he`ll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a more...
Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the ground. While floating over a country road, they see a man walking below. One of the balloonists calls down to him:"We're lost! Can you tell us where we are?"The man thinks for a while, looks down, looks up, looks down again, stares into space for a minute, and then cries out:"You're in a balloon!"The wind picks up, and the balloon floats off. After a moment, one balloonist says to the other:"That man must be a manager.""Why?""Three reasons. First, he took a long time to answer. Second, he was perfectly correct. Third, his answer was perfectly useless!"
These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down to the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?". And the man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
Advice on baby care - your questions answered.
(From a Nutworks post by Jon Partington)
QUESTION. I am the father of a two-month old baby and he is fascinated by a Helium balloon that we have bought him. It is called Mr Smiley and has a smiling face on one side, with the words 'Don't worry'. He keeps playing with the thing, tugging on the string and letting the balloon rise again. However what is worrying me is that he seems more interested in Mr Smiley than he is in me: also he seems to resemble Mr Smiley very strongly, in that he is fat, full of wind, and smiles a lot in an enigmatic way. Is it possible that my wife has committed adultery with Mr Smiley, & the baby is not my son at all?
ANSWER. This is highly improbable. The baby probably likes Mr Smiley because he comes when the baby pulls him. You could try bobbing up and down above the cot, smiling vacuously. Pretend you are a politician running for office, Maybe.
QUESTION. My baby is only one month old and can more...
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"The man below says: "Yes, youre in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.""You must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist."I do," replies the man. "How did you know?""Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless."The man below says: "You must be in management.""I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?""Well", says the man, "you dont know where you are, or where youre going, but you expect me to be able to help. Youre still in the same position you were before we met, but now its my fault."
When a 24-year-old man showed up at a British hospital emergency room with chest pains, doctors also heard a loud crunching sound each time his heart beat and felt air bubbles under his skin. According to the British Medical Journal, the patient disclosed that the day before he had blown up about 20 party balloons. Doctors concluded that the man had burst some of the little air sacs in his lungs when he blew up the first balloon, then inflated himself a little bit more each time he blew up another balloon. His symptoms cleared up within 10 days.