Banana Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is Army policy all begins…
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.
Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the more...

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldnt find a date.

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana!

Holiday Banana Bread: Ingredients: 2 laughing eyes, 2 loving arms, 2 well shaped legs, 2 firm milk containers, 1 fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 large bananaInstructions: 1 - look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms. 2 - Spread well shaped legs slowly. 3 - Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased, check with middle finger. 4 - Add banana, work up and down until well creamed. 5 - Lower nuts and sigh with relief, when banana is soft, bread is done! 6 - Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but "do not lick the bowl." NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.

What do you call a pair of banana peels? A pair of slippers.

Teacher: What is Ba + Na2? Pupil: Banana.

INGREDIENTS:

2 LAUGHING EYES
2 LOVING ARMS
2 WELL SHAPED LEGS
2 FIRM MILK CONTAINERS
2 LARGE NUTS
1 LARGE BANANA

METHOD:

- Look into the laughing eyes.
- Fold in loving arms.
- Spread well shaped legs.
- Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until the mixing bowl is well greased, check frequently with middle finger.
- Add banana.
- Work in and out until creamed. Cover with nuts. Sigh with relief.
- Cake is done when banana is soft.

NOTE:
Be sure to wash the mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl.

WARNING:
If cake rises leave town immediately.
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