Bananas Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What do Marines and Bananas have in common?
A. Thay bolth start out green then turn yellow and die in bunches..... Oh no that was horrible you cant say that ha ha ha...
A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.
Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row.
Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours.
They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.
Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.
Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity more...
Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.
In the darkness was overheard, "Did you take a bite of your banana?"
"No."
"Well, don't. I did and I just went blind."
Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.
In the darkness was overheard, "Did you take a bite of your banana?"
"No."
"Well, don't. I did and I just went blind."
A little old lady is sitting in the violin section, fumbling for notes in a difficult key signature. After a few minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with his music stand, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily conducting the orchestra when the trumpet player goes sharp. Enraged, he lunges out with his baton, skewering the offender's neck and killing him. Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water; he tries more...
Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out." Doctor: That's easy. Eat shit!