Band Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises.
2. After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop.
3. After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream, "MY PACEMAKER!"
4. Wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.
5. Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream, "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
6. Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can't hear you, you'll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".
7. If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your piece of chalk, and ask, "Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants?"
8. Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time more...
Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner onenight. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest "weapon". Thefirst knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon... he pulled down hispants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... thewomen swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played appropriatemusic. Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pantsand tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... thewomen swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band playedappropriate music. After several more knights tried to prove their superiority... the King finally spoke out."I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to more...
Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner onenight. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest "weapon". Thefirst knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon...he pulled down hispants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered...thewomen swooned...the children waved multi-colored banners...and the band played appropriatemusic.Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pantsand tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered...thewomen swooned...the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band playedappropriate music.After several more knights tried to prove their superiority...the King finally spoke out."I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. The more...