Drop Jokes

The Ghost Poo: The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo - The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo- You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Poo- That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Second Wave Poo- This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
The Brain Haemorrhage-through-your-nose Poo- You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Lincoln Log Log- The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking more...

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue.
She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop more...

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.
He
went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first
thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver
was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers
license?" "What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away
the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few
minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see yourregistration?"
asked the cop.
"Registration... what's that....?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently.
After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The
officer more...

An Italian, an American, and a Polak were captured by the French for various crimes and are taken to the Guillotine.The executioner places the Italian on the block and asks if he has any last words. The Italian replies, "I pray to the Virgin Mary that I may live." They drop the blade it it stops a mere inch above the Italian's neck. Amazed, the French let him go.Next, the American is put in position and asked if he has any final words. He replies, "In the name of Jesus Christ, please have mercy." They drop the blade, and again it stops just an inch from the American's neck. In disbelief, they let him go free.Then the Polak is placed on the block, and they ask if he has any last words.He says, "Yeah. You've got a knot in your rope."

Become a Redneck in 25 Easy Steps: A Manual for Yuppies
Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck?
Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but didn't know how?
Is there an inner Cletus inside that dapper and dignified image, just hollerin' to get out?
Well, now you can become the redneck you have always wanted to be!
Purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That is all you will need to start!
Now follow the 25 easy guidelines in our manual!
Caution: These instructions MUST be followed in your BUSINESS OFFICE.
1) We assume you are a dignified, well-groomed yuppie executive; therefore, as you read this, it is also assumed you are wearing a pair of well-polished $800 Brooks Brothers black dress shoes and silk socks, a $2,000 pinstriped Armani business suit tailored for you, a $150 silk necktie with matching more...