Bandaged Jokes / Recent Jokes

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir? ” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long! ” “Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing? ” the manager asked. “That’s the one! ” That’s great! ” the manager cried, “I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged? ” “Oh, ” the clerk replied, “after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me. ”

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children:
The First Time the Child Fell and Got a Cut
First child: My wife and I frantically ran over to the child. We swept him up and rushed him to the emergency room. No stitches were needed but we spent the night with him in his room just in case the bleeding started again.
Second child: We walked over to her, picked her up and quickly bandaged her up. We spent the next two hours rocking her in the living room to comfort the pain.
Third child: I told my wife that if he was still crying in a couple of minutes, we should go over and make sure he isn't hurt too badly. When he didn't stop crying, we bandaged up the cut and laid him in his bed for a while but we went on about our business.
Fourth child: Put a bandage on the cut and told him it'd get better after he stopped crying.

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."

When the store manager returned from lunch, he was surprised to see that his clerk's hand was bandaged. Before having the chance to ask him what had happened, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that horribly, ugly suit we've had for so long."
"Are you referring to that repulsive orange and brown, double-breasted thing?" asked the manager.
"That's the one, sir," replied the clerk.
"That's great!" exclaimed the manager. "I was afraid we'd never get rid of that horrid monstrosity! That had to have been the ugliest suit we've ever had! But, tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh, that," the clerk replied. "Well, after I sold the guy the suit, his darn guide dog bit me!"