Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

BANTA SINGH, a Punjabi cobbler, found a job in a leather factory in England. It had all the modern gadgetry which got Banta very baffled. When it came to a massive machine, the supervisor explained to him: "This is the latest in leather technology. We put a buffalo in at one end and ready-made shoes come out of the other."
Not to be outdone, Banta Singh replied, "We in India have a better machine. We put in old shoes at one end and get a live buffalo out of the other."
"That's wonderful! exclaimed the English supervisor, "What happens to the laces?"
"They come out as the buffalo's tail."

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there."
Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
Banta says, "The horse blew first."

Banta in a very maross mood tells Santa that his buffalo is ill. He enquires from Santa, "that wasn't his buffalo also down with the same illness last year?"
Santa replies in the affirmative. Banta asks for the medication used by Santa. Santa tells him that he gave 250 gms of opium to it.
Banta goes home and gives 250 gms of opium to his ailing buffalo. The next day, he met Santa and told him that his buffalo died.
Santa tells Banta that it isn't surprising, because even his buffalo died after taking the opium.

Santa, Banta, and one of their friend, Sunny, tried out for the same job as road stripers. The employer told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.
At the end of the first day Sunny head had painted 4 miles, Banta had painted 3.5 miles, and Santa had painted 10 miles. The employer was so exited he told Santa to keep it up and the job was his.
The next day the Sunny painted 6 miles, Banta 7 miles, and Santa 5 miles. The employer told Santa not to worry, you still have a good lead.
So, on the third day Sunny had painted 7 miles, Banta 8 miles, and Santa only two miles.
The employer was so disappointed, he asked Santa, "What went wrong, you were doing so good?"
Santa said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away."

One day Santa told Banta that Hindustan & Bharat are on war.
Banta replied but we live in India

Banta and Ram Lal were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Ram Lai leaned over and called out:' You dead or alive, Banta?'
'Alive,' moaned Banta.
'You're a liar. I don't know whether to believe you or not,' said Ram Lai.
'Then I must be dead,' said Banta,' because you wouldn't dare call me a liar if I were alive.'

A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.
The cop says, "What the hell is going on?"
The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."
The cop says, "That's not going to make him puke."
She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."