Baptist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday. Not too many weeks thereafter, just as services are starting, they show up.
Attendance was good in the small Methodist church, and there wasn't a pew available; several church members were already seated on folding chairs. When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back."
The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?"
"Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister.
The usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face. Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly. "Three Chairs... For The Baptists," he enunciated.
The usher's face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the more...

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"What type of bra?" asked the clerk."Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?""Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.Confused, the man asked what the types were.The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." Military
Buying a Bra "A man walked more...

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'
'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'
'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what were the types.
The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'
Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?'
The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy a bra for his wife.
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "there's more than one type?"
"There are three types." Replies the clerk,
"The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"
Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference in them?"
The clerk responds, "It is really very easy. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen and the Baptist type makes mountain's out of mole hills."

[From Albert's wife Wilma, who claims it is true:]
One of the problems dealt with during the training of Southern
Baptist ministers is how to handle those uncomfortable situations
in which, while the minister would be forbidden to lie, the truth
would be hurtful if not down right cruel.
As a particular case, when faced with a particularly ugly baby
-and, sadly, they do exist- the prospective minister is taught
to throw up his hands while emitting a delighted "Why! It's a baby!"
So our scene shifts to a large Baptist convention. The Bishop,
making the rounds, comes upon a young newly ordained minister who is
also a recent, proud papa. Looking down, the Bishop says, "Why, it's
a baby!" whereupon the young minister decks him.

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and more...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?" "Well. .. are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist more...