Baptist Jokes

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said.' I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man' There is more than one type?'

'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types.

The saleslady replied' The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

Still confused the man asked' What is the difference between them?'

The lady responded' It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out more...

Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "This doesn't look good, Fanny."

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent.

On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are Catholic." The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.

The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and more...

Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian - worked together to sponsor a community- wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.

The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families."

The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."

The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest troublemakers!"

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?""Well... are you religious or atheist?""Religious.""Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?""Christian.""Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?""Protestant.""Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?""Baptist.""Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?""Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?""Reformed Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?""Reformed Baptist Church of God, more...