Barber Jokes / Recent Jokes

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that. The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?""We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.So, where are you staying in Rome?""We'll be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of more...

There is this good ol' barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep. A cop goes for a haircut next and when he goes to pay the barber, the latter replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen donuts waiting at his doorstep. An Indian software engineer goes for a haircut after that and while paying, the barber tells him, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The next morning, when more...

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."

The barber began to shave his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend
some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

A blonde walks into a barber shop wearing a set of headphones. She sits down in the chair and says I need my hair cut.
The barber starts to cut the right side then stops. He says, “You need to take off your headphones. ”
Blonde: “I can’t, I’ll just die! ”
The barber cuts the right side and goes to the left side. He starts cutting then stops. He says, “You really have to take off your headphones. ”
Blonde: “I can’t, I’ll just die! ”
The barber cuts the left side and starts on the back. He starts cutting then stops again. He says, “Now, you REALLY have to take off your headphones! ”
Blonde: “I can’t, I’ll just die! ”
The barber starts cutting, but then stops. He leans over and grabs the blonde’s headphones and pulls them off. She chokes, then falls to the ground dead.
The barber picks up the headphones and listens. “Breathe In… Breathe Out… Breathe In… Breathe Out…”

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God? work. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says "Well ma'am, I can't cut your hair with those head-phones on. You're going to have to take them off."

She shakes her head vigorously and replies "No, if I take them off, I will die." He put his hands on his hips and ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones.

All he heard was "Breathe in, breathe out, breath in."