Barman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"
"I haven't got any money!"
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."
The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
"What happened to you?" said the barman.
"I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
“Sorry I can’t serve you, ” states the barman.
“Why not?! ” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
“You’re under 18, ” replies the barman.
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?""I haven't got any money!"
A vampire walked into a pub and went up to the bar and asked can I have a pint of blood, mate? The barman looks at his suspiciously and then says sorry mate we do not sell blood. The vampire walks out and walks into the next pub and the same reply was given as before. He starts to get annoyed and so he walks into the pub at the end of the road and asks the barman can I have a pint of hot water please, mate? The barman looks at him and then gives him the pint of hot water. He then asks whats with the hot water? The vampire pulls out his tampon and says tea-time!!
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.He comes back a week later beaten to shit."What happened to you?" said the barman."I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!
A Gorilla goes into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. The barman thinks, "What would a gorilla know about drinks?" and charges him $20. The gorilla downs the drink and orders another.
The barman charges him the same price again. He thinks for a minute and then says to the gorilla 'You know we don't get many gorillas in here."
The gorilla looks at the barman and says,, "At these prices I don't bloody wonder."