Barman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.
He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing.
And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that
! " "OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt? ".
Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin! !?".
Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like? ".
"No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.
As he reaches the door the barman calls more...
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why won't you serve me?" asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
a bloke finishes work goes to the pub, and asks for a pint. he sees the wall covered in
This one will perhaps only be good for your more advanced students.
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman refuses to serve him saying rudely,' Sorry but we don't serve the likes of you. Get out!'
The piece of string leaves the bar feeling glum, he walks down the road and then he sees two girls who he asks for help.' Please,' he says to one of the girls, would you tie a knot in me?' This she does.' Please,' the piece of string says to the other girl,'would you mind taking your comb and fluffing out the ends of my string?' so the girl obliges.
'Thank you' says the string and he turns around, goes back into the bar and immediately orders a drink again.
The barman looks at him quizzically and says' aren't you the piece of string that was in here a moment ago?'
'No' came the answer,' I'm a frayed knot.'
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"The barman says, "Yep, that's them."So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?""Why kill a blonde with big tits?"Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"