Barman Jokes / Recent Jokes
(Read in a Turkish newspaper:)
Old west... A bar... All of a sudden, the door opens with a kick, and
a cowboy in black enters... Black hat, black foulard, black shirt,
black trousers, black boots, black gloves, black belt, and a black
pair of guns...
Everyone looks at him with fearful eyes. He approaches the barman, and
asks:
"Do you have a bucket?"
Barman runs inside, finds a wooden bucket, comes back. The cowboy in
black looks to the bucket, and orders:
"Now, bring me three bottles of whiskey."
Seconds later:
"Pour them into the bucket."
And, then:
"And now, bring this to my horse outside."
The frightened and surprised barman does what the cowboy in black
tells.
He finds a horse, black as night, tied in front of the bar, completely
in black harness. It drinks all the whiskey at once.
Then the barman returns back inside the bar. The cowboy very more...
A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.
The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".
The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. this happens twice more.
A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the mens room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks.
The barman gets the drinks and says, "it's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as the jackass. I just had to tell you because I dont think it's very fair for him to call you that".
The woman turns to him and smiles and says...
"Oh, dont worry, it's ok - heaw, heaw, he always calls me that"!
A man walked into a bar and sat down at a table with a bowl of peanuts on it."Wow, you're really good looking, I bet you get lots of girls! You look really successful, too... you must be rich! You're so handsome and funny and all around great!" complimented the peanuts.Thinking this was kinda strange, the man went over to the cigarette machine to buy a pack.He jumped back in surprise when the machine said to him. "Woah, man, are you ugly?! I've never seen a more sad, gross, ugly little man in my life! Where'd you get those clothes, the dump?! You're pathetic!"Quite alarmed now, the man walked over to the barman and asked what was going on with the peanuts and the cigarette machine. The barman replied,"Well, the peanuts are complimentary, but the machine's right out of order."
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club."You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?" "I haven't got any money!"