Barn Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Hindu Priest, a Rabbi and a Lawyer were all traveling together and came upon an Inn with only two available rooms. The Innkeeper said that one of them must volunteer to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu volunteered but two minutes later there was a knock at the door. The Hindu Priest said "I can not sleep in the barn because there is a cow there."
The Rabbi then volunteered to sleep in the barn. Two minutes later there was another knock at the door. The Rabbi returned saying "I can not sleep in the barn because there is a pig in there."
The lawyer then volunteered to sleep in the barn. Two minutes later there was a knock at the door. It was the cow and the pig.

Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer`s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance company and asked them to send a check for $75,000, the amount of insurance on the barn. "We don`t give you the money," a company official explained. "We replace the barn and all the equipment in it."
"In that case," replied the wife, "cancel the policy I have on my husband."

one way to say your fly is open to a boy/girl:
to a boy: the barn door is open the stallions go to get out!
to a girl: the barn door is open the mare is going to get out!

A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds.

They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the barn. After much discussion, the hindu volunteered to go to the barn. A few moments later, a knock on the bedroom door, and the hidu explained that there was a cow in the barn, and cows are sacred and he could not possibly sleep in the barn with a cow.

Annoyed, the rabbi volunteered. A few moments later, a knock on the door. The rabbi explained that there was a pig in the barn and that he, being very orthodox, could not possibly spend the evening in the barn with the origin of pork.

Finally the lawyer said that he would go to the barn. A few moments later there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig!

Child advocates would remove the child from the custody of his mother when
they discovered she was shacking with a guy (not the child's father) in a
barn. In most jurisdictions that would constitute child neglect.

Of course, Mary would have an underpaid court appointed attorney to represent
her in the dependent-neglect proceeding, and Joseph would be out of luck once
it was determined that paternity could not be established within a reasonable
degree of medical certainty through blood or DNA testing(97% probability that
Joe was the dad is sufficient, but absent divine intervention, that couldn't
happen, hmmm?). He would be excluded from juvenile court as a stranger to the
proceeding and investigated for possible sexual deviance (all those oxen and
asses around), and he would be told that he had no standing to object since he
was not the natural father of the child and was not yet married to Mary (by
their own admissions more...

This blonde calls this rural fire dept. all excited she says come quick my barns on fire, my barn's on fire.
The dispatcher says calm down now just tell us how to get there.
She says " oh, Don't you have that big red truck anymore?"

One day Mahathir, Netanyahu and Ghandi were in Geneva discussing the role of muslims in today's society. On the way back to their hotel, their car broke down in the wilderness and the closest sign of life was a small hut in the distance. They went in and asked the farmer whether they would be able to spend the night there. The farmer said,' It's okay with me, but I only have 2 other beds. Someone has to sleep in the barn with the animals.' Netanyahu immediately said,' We Israelis are used to sleeping in barns, I will go there.' and so they all settled into bed for a good nights' rest. Before 5 minutes were up, Netanyahu knocked on the bedroom doors and said,' I can't sleep in the barn, there's a pig there and it is un-kosher to be near it.' So, Ghandi decided to sleep in the barn. Before long, Ghandi came back and said,' I can't sleep in the barn, there's a cow there and it is sacrilegious to sleep near a sacred animal.' So, Mahathir had no choice but to sleep in the barn. Almost more...