Barnyard Jokes

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried.' So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the more...

A duck hunter is out one day having no luck. He hunts the whole morning and couldn't get a single kill. On the way home he comes up to a farm house and flying over the barnyard is a big flock of fat mallards.
Seeing his last chance for success, he takes aim at what looked like the biggest duck in the flock and gave it both barrels. The duck fell from the sky and landed in the middle of a barnyard.
As the hunter nears the barnyard and the dead duck, he sees he's got himself a beauty. But when he is a mere 20 paces from the duck, a farmer steps out of the barn, picks up the duck and heads for the house.
"Hey!" said the hunter, "Come back with my duck!"
"Your duck?" says the farmer, "It was lying dead in my barnyard; it's MY duck."
"No! No! You don't understand!, shouts the hunter, "I shot it and it just happened to fall here. It's mine!"
"Okay, city fella. We'll settle this the country way," more...

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried. So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster- I've got to do something about this! He walks up to the new bird and says,' So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself.' Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definately thought he was more than a match for the old guy.' You're on', he said,' and more...

Three hunters decided if they got separated or lost, they would use the yodeling cry "oh-lady-hoo" to help locate each other. One hunter got lost and yelled "oh-lady-hoo" until he was hoarse but to no avail. When it began to get dark, he gave up trying to find his friends, saw light at a nearby farmhouse, knocked on the front door and asked the farmer if he could stay the night. "No problem," he said, "I've got a spare room you're welcome to use." Toward morning, the hunter was awakened by the farmer's young daughter as she slipped into his bed. In no time at all they were going at it hot and heavy and in a few minutes she had an orgasm. Her cries of ecstasy soon brought an angry father into the bedroom. He had a loaded shotgun and said to the hunter, "You better get dressed real fast' cause you and me are going down to the barnyard to see if you can haul ass fast enough to outrun a load of buckshot!" As soon as they reached the more...

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he’s a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.
“So you’re the new stud in town? I bet you really think you’re hot stuff don’t you? Well I’m not ready for the chopping block yet. I’ll bet I’m still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We’ll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself. ”
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
“You’re on, ” he said, “and since I’m so great, I’ll even give more...