Baseball Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium but it is keeping its location hidden from the public.Yeah, they're afraid the Tigers will find out where it is and try to play there.
A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for Gorilla Removers so he calls the number.The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. Then I can get the gorilla into the back of the van.""What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"
Spring training is very important.It gives all the Dominican players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake more...
The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. There is an extensive section where the bass players don't play for twenty minutes of so. One of them decided that, rather than stand around on stage looking bored and stupid, they'd all just file offstage during their tacit-time and hang out backstage, then return when they were about to play. It seemed like a good idea at the time.On the night of the performance, the bass players filed off as planned. The last one had barely left the stage when the leader suggested, "Hey we've got twenty minutes, let's fun across the street to the bar for a few!"This idea was met with great approval, so off they went, tuxedos and all, to loosen up. Fifteen minutes and a few rounds later, one of the bass players said, "Shouldn't we be heading back? It's almost time."But the leader announced, "Oh don't worry, we'll have some extra time - I played a little joke on the conductor. Before the performance more...
A minor league baseball stadium in Michigan is selling chocolate-covered bacon and foot long hotdogs served in Twinkies. It's now the healthiest place to eat in the Midwest.
The other day was take your daughter to work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.