Batman Jokes / Recent Jokes
One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Superman: "Hey Spidey, let's go get a burger and a beer!" Spidey: "No, Superman. I've got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Superman: "Hey, Batman! Let's go get a burger and a beer!" Batman: "Not today, my friend. My Bat Mobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his supervision does he see, but none other than Wonder Woman, lying on the deck, spread-eagle, stark-naked! Superman gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be like with all her Wonder Powers". So he zzoooooommms down and does her more...
What do you call Batman and Robbin run over? Flatman and Ribbon. Sent by Matias
A wife arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her
husband in bed with a young lovely thing. Just as she was about to
storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.
Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about. Driving
along the highway, I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled,
so I offered her a lift. She was hungry, so I brought her home and made
a meal from the roast you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had
only some worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you
discarded because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave her
the sweater I bought you for your birthday - the one you never wore
because the colours didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I
gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for
you now. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and
asked;
"Is there anything else that more...
Sing the Batman theme incessantly. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Sniffle incessantly. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog." Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions more...
What happened to Batman and Robin when they got hit by a train? They became Flatman and Ribbon!
One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that
day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Supe: "Hey Spidey,
let's go get a burger and a beer!". Spidey: "No can do, Supe. I've got a
problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it".
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Supe: "Hey, Batman!
Let's go get a burger and a beer!". Batman: "Not today, my friend. My
BatMobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow
without it".
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the
skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his SuperVision
does he see, but none other than WonderWoman, lying on the deck,
spread-eagle, stark-naked! Supe gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said
I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be
like with all her more...