Beater Jokes

Rum Cake
Before you start, sample the rum and check for good quality.
Good, isn't it?
Now select a large mixing bowl, measuring cups, spatula, etc.
(Check that rum again for quality. It must be just right!
Try it again.)
With an electric beater, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again. (Meanwhile, make certain
that rum is of best quality.)
Add two large eggs and two cups of dried fruit and beat until very
high. If fruit gets stuck in the beater, pry it out with a
screwdriver. (Sample rum again, checking for consistency.)
Next, sift in three (2) cups of baking powder and add a pinch
of rum, one seaspoon of soda and one cupa papper...(or maybe
salt?) Anyway, don't fret, just taste that rum again. Good
stuff.
Next, sift in a half pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk
and strained nuts. Sample rum again.
Now, one bablespoon srown sugar, or whatever more...

A man started chasing his wife around the house with an egg beater. Thinking that this would be a kinky idea the wife agreed to try it out. While doing this the beater got stuck and the wife had to go to the hospital. When she got there she was shy and didn't want to be so bold about it so she told the doctor that her pussy had an egg beater stuck in it.
The doctor gave the wife an odd look and said," Well maybe you should take your cat to the vet miss!"