Beauty Jokes / Recent Jokes
In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model.
She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair.
Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody.
It was the theme from "Mission Impossible."
Age 8:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty etc.
Age 15:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty / Cheerleader or if she is PMS'ing: sees Fat / Pimples / UGLY ("Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!")
Age 20:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short/ too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she's going anyway.
Age 30:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going anyway.
Age 40:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but says, "At least, I'm clean," and goes anyway.
Age 50:
Looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes where ever she wants to.
Age 60:
Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror more...
Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her face!