Beauty Jokes / Recent Jokes
Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the worldWhat was I wearing?
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin...however, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter!
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty! She was alone with her husband one day & she wanted to thank him for what he did.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!"
He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!"
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so thin. The husband then donated some of his skin...
However, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter!
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty!
She was alone with her husband one day & she wanted to thank him for what he did. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!
He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"
Age 8: Looks at herself and sees; Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty Age 15: Looks at herself and sees; Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Movie Star, or if she is PMS-ing; sees pimples/ugly ("Mom I can't go to school like this!") Age 20: Looks at herself and sees; "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but she decides she is going out anyway. Age 30: Looks at herself and sees; "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going out anyway. Age 40: Looks at herself and sees; "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" -but says, "At least, I'm clean" and goes out anyway. Age 50: Looks at herself and sees; "I am" - and goes wherever she wants to. Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore; goes out and conquers the world. Age 70: Looks at herself and sees more...
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident.
The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin...however, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter!
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty.
She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty!
She was alone with her husband one day & she wanted to thank him for what he did.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me!
There is no way I could ever repay you!!!
He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!
My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.
I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.