Beauty Jokes / Recent Jokes

Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of more...

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, I took my girlfriend to see The bride of Dracula last night. Oh yeah, said the other, what was she like? Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs. The other said, Yes, but what was The Bride of Dracula like?

Fred: Whats that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty.

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay more...