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Love, you can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun. - George Bernard ShawOne cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. - Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night. - Carrie SnowBy all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man. - SocratesMarriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman. - Herbert SpencerSomeone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by more...

Nature has many laws that hold fast and true.
For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon.
A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig.
A baby jackass will always become a jackass.
A puppy quickly matures into a dog;
a mongrel pup develops into a cur.
Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these.

WE are familiar with the witticisms written behind trucks and three-wheelers. Variations on their themes make interesting reading. For instance, there is the common one: "if you can read this, UR2 close." Amusing variation can be: "If you can read this, you are evidently literate, Congrats!" There is another one often seen on the roads: "Dont't come close to me. I hardly know you." We can improve on it: "Don't come close to me-I got AIDS". I have seen this one on a three-wheeler: "When I grow up, I'm going to become a Rolls Royce." Having learnt something of the way Delhi's buses are driven, one can improve on it: "When I grow up, I am going to become a DTC bus." For "My other car is a Mercedez Benz." We can have it slightly different: "My other car was sold to buy this one." We can also convert. "Life begins at forty; so let's really live it up," to a warning against overspeeding. "Lite more...

Mother: Cover Yourself Properly Or You'll Get The Disease Called Elephathasis Disease.
Son: What Type Of Disease Is That?
Mother: This Is A Type Of Disease When Mosquito Bites Our Legs They Become Like Elephant's Legs.
Son(In The Morning, Crying)
Mother: Why Are You Crying?
Son: Mom, Yesterday Night One Mosquito Bit Me On My Nose. Now, It Will Become A Trunk!!!

[1] You can become an engineer if you go to an Engineering college, but don't expect to be a President going to the Presidency College!
[2] Expect a BUS at a BUS Stop, but Don't expect a FOOL at FULLSTOP(.)
[3] A Mechanical engineer becomes a mechanic then why not a software engineer become a software?
[4] Find keys in a Key board but do not expect a mother in mother board.
[5] Study anything you want and get a certificate in subject of your studies but don't expect a death certificate studying "Dying and Death."

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae West
"I was married by a judge...I should have asked for a jury." - George more...

There’s this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want’s to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say’s “First you drink this liter of whisky, then you’ve got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her. ”The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
“What happened to you? ” said the barman.
“I’m nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman”!