Become Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine. Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild. 3M, J. C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!
Q: Who would become President of the U. S. A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!
The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer.
"I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for that express degree you told me about?"
"It's $50, 000", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?"
"That's my business! Get me the course!"
Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to get a law degree so badly before you died?"
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "One less lawyer".
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?" "It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?" "That's my business! Get me the course!" Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer. . . "
GUIDE TO SAFE FAX
Q: DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE SAFE FAX?
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many
single people who fax complete strangers every day.
Q: MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND
WERE ONLY ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY
WERE TWENTYONE. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE
BEFORE THEY CAN FAX?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the
correct procedure.
Q: IF I FAX MYSELF, WILL I GO BLIND?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.
Q: THERE IS A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO AND PAY
FOR FAX. IS THIS LEGAL?
A: Yes. many people have no other outlet for their fax drives
and must pay a "professional" when their needs to fax
become too great.
Q: SHOULD A COVER ALWAYS BE USED FOR more...
1. They don't mean it.
2. They want to get laid, but not *that* bad.
3. Their fathers didn't say it to their mothers.
4. It has become a throw-away phrase.
5. They don't want to be trapped in some long-term thing.
6. They've said it before and found out they were wrong.
7. They think it is much cooler to say it to other men, like Sammy and Frank.
8. It will lead to "I'll marry you".
9. It has become a throw-away phrase.
10. If they say it, their dicks will fall off.
Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.