Believe Jokes / Recent Jokes

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going togive up the city life, move to the country, and become a chickenfarmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turnsout that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. Theneighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn'teasy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100chickens."The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the newneighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmersaid, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens.I'll give you 100 more."Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The newfarmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "what went wrong? What did you do to them?"Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not more...

God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision...I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that Windows95, among other things. I believe I'll do something I've never done before...
I'll let YOU decide where you want to go.
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'll do better than that. I'll let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you want to visit first...Heaven or Hell?"
Bill said, "I think I'll try Hell first."
So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.
When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place...a bit warm...with sandy beaches and tall more...

The three stages of life:
You believe in Santa Claus.
You don't believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addresses Al first. 'Al, what do you believe in?'
Al replies, 'Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if anymore freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die.'
God thinks for a second and says 'Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.'
God then addresses Bill Clinton. 'Bill, what do you believe in?'
Bill Clinton replies, 'Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain.' God thinks for a few second and says, 'Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.'
God then address Bill Gates. 'Bill Gates, what do you believe?'
Bill Gates said, 'I more...

Always believe a woman when she says: "You don't want to know!"

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." God then more...

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if anymore freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill
Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." God thinks for a few second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then address Bill Gates. more...