Bell Jokes / Recent Jokes

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality: We Three Kings

Disoriented Are. Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

Narcissistic: Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

Mania: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

Paranoia: Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

Obsessive Compulsive: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

Borderline Personality: Thoughts of Roasting in more...

Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore more...

You'll never eat fast food again!

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home.

Well that night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor.

He said she was just have an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong. Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some test. They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples.

Well they found out what was wrong. Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant roach in it. The eggs then some how got into her saliva glands and well she was incubating them. They had to remove a couple a layers of her inner more...

12. Every morning at the bus stop, that same pig is reading the newspaper - upside down! 11. Whenever you cross the road, so does that damned chicken! 10. That foul smell, and you're not with your beer drinking buddies.9. Heavy bleating on the other end of the phone.8. Silhouette of knife-wielding Holstein appears on your shower curtain.7. Everywhere you do, the bell! the Bell! THE BELL!!! 6. You find a knit cap and FOUR bloody gloves.5. You keep hearing, "Oink Oink," and there isn't a See'n'Say toy in sight.4. After an ugly break-up with Flopsy, you find Glenn Close floating in a pot on your stove.3. While baking custard pie, you step in cow pie.2. All 84 Caller ID entries read, "Babe."and the Number 1 Sign You're Being Stalked By A Farm Animal...1. Note on your doorstep says, "We'll see who's laughing at Thanksgiving this year, Ginsu Boy!"

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Phone Company Gives Something for NothingDear Ann, I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out! When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.- Linda K. R. in more...

1) George Bush Goes To A Primary School To Talk About The War. At Question Time. One Little Boy Puts Up His Hand And George
Asks Him What His Name Is. "Bob". "I Have 3 Questions. 1 Why Did The Usa Invade Iraq Without The Support Of The Un? 2 Why Are
You President When Al Gore Got More Votes? 3 What Happened To Osama Bin Laden? Just Then The Bell Rings For Recess. George
Bush Informs The Kiddies That They Will Continue After Recess. When They Resume, A Different Little Boy Puts Up His Hand.
George Points Him Out And Asks Him What His Name Is. "Steve" "And What Is Your Question, Steve?" The Same Three Bob Asked And
4 Why Did The Recess Bell Go 20 Minutes Early? 5, Where Is Bob?