Bell Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's side. more...

After Quasimodo's death the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the more...

A lady was walking down the street when a small sign in the window of a shop caught her eye. She stopped, turned back and read the sign which said, "Clitoris licking frog available".
Checking to see that no one on the street was observing her, she hurriedly entered the shop, closing the door quickly behind her.
Inside there was a counter but no sign of activity or human presence. On the counter there was a bell with a sign on top saying: -"Please ring for service"
The lady gave the bell a push. It rang but nothing happened. She hit the bell again and after a few minutes she heard a shuffling, slurping sort of sound and eventually a man emerged from a door behind the counter. "Bonjour madame"

A lady was walking down the street when a small sign in the window of a shop caught her eye. She stopped, turned back and read the sign which said, "Clitoris licking frog available".Checking to see that no one on the street was observing her, she hurriedly entered the shop, closing the door quickly behind her.Inside there was a counter but no sign of activity or human presence. On the counter there was a bell with a sign on top saying: -"Please ring for service"The lady gave the bell a push. It rang but nothing happened. She hit the bell again and after a few minutes she heard a shuffling, slurping sort of sound and eventually a man emerged from a door behind the counter. "Bonjour madame"

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "Thats not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "Thats not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone. . . cheese mine."

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).