Bell Jokes / Recent Jokes

A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking."Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of about 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions."The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back and said the parrot had yet to say a word. "That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned and said there still had been no talking. "I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same complaint. more...

A father and his three beautiful, blonde, daughters went into a hotel to stay for the night. When the daughters went to check in, they saw a really good looking bell boy. The father caught the three girls looking at him and he threatened to kill the bell boy if he did anything at all with them. So the bell boy minded his own business and ignored the girls.
While he was working ever so diligently, the eldest daughter goes up to him and says, "If you don't do it with me in bed, I will pour red juice on the sheets of my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry."
Fearing for his life, he did it with her.
Then he saw the beautiful middle daughter in the hallway and she too walked over to him and said, "If you don't do it with me, I'll pour red juice on my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry."
Again fearing for his life, he agreed.
Later that evening the youngest blonde daughter saw him. She walked up to him and said, "If you more...

There was a farmer who was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. He kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when the farmer saw a set of 8 tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them.
He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a fine specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. He went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had his bell more...

My uncle was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them.
He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a fine specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. Uncle went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had more...

What did the bell say when it fell in the water? Im wringing wet.

Taco Bell to debut $2 combo meal...In Arizona it comes with bus ticket to Tijuana

A salesman rings the bell at a suburban home. The door is opened
by a nine year old boy puffing on a long fat cigar.Astonished, the salesman asks the young man, "Is your mother or
father at home?"The young boy takes the cigar out of his mouth, flicks ashes on the carpet, and asks, "What do you think?"