Bench Jokes / Recent Jokes
Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying."Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves."The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
A couple is at an Art exhibition, and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men, sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis, and the one in the middle has a pink penis.
As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist walks by and says "Can I help you with this painting. I'm the artist who painted it."
The man says "Well, we like the painting but don't understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have black penises."
The artist says "Oh, you are misinterpreting the painting. They're not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch.
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting that park every sunny day, for over 12 years... chatting, and enjoying each other's friendship.
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years... What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."
The older friend glares at her at first. Then, looking very distressed, says nothing for 2 full minutes, and finally says, "How soon do you have to know?"
Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. Thesecond little old lady had a little stroke. The third little old lady would have had astroke... but her arms weren't quite long enough.
On Halloween night a kid is standing on a bench with a fake beard, fake fangs, a tennis racket, a baseball cap, and a purple cape.
A snobby man walks by and says, "What are you supposed to be?"
The kid says, "Duh! I'm a kid standing on a bench wearing fake fangs, a fake beard, a baseball cap, a purple cape and holding a tennis racket! What did you think I was?"