Beng Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Sorry, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.

Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were at sea when they were hijacked by a group of pirates. The pirates cornered the 3 men and said "Give us all your valuables!" The chief pirate then raised a syringe and added, "Or else we'll inject you with the AIDS virus!" Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuables and handed them to the pirates. Satisfied, they threw him into the sea. Muthu was equally quick to comply with the pirates' wishes. Similarly, he removed his valuables and surrendered them to the pirates. Like Mohammad, he was thrown into the sea. Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. He stared at the pirates and sneered. "You all kee see lah! (go and die!) Inject, inject lah, you'll never get my lolex and my JPG warret!" The pirates, showing no mercy, injected Ah Beng with the HIV virus, and robbed him of his precious watch and wallet. They then threw him into the sea with the rest. In the water, both Mohammad and Muthu commended Ah Beng for his bravery. more...

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe? Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 more...

Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were at sea when they were hijacked by a group of pirates. The pirates cornered the 3 men and said "Give us all your valuables!" The chief pirate then raised a syringe and added, "Or else we'll inject you with the AIDS virus!"

Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuables and handed them to the pirates. Satisfied, they threw him into the sea. Muthu was equally quick to comply with the pirates' wishes. Similarly, he removed his valuables and surrendered them to the pirates. Like Mohammad, he was thrown into the sea.

Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. He stared at the pirates and sneered. "You all kee see lah! (go and die!) Inject, inject lah, you'll never get my lolex and my JPG warret!" The pirates, showing no mercy, injected Ah Beng with the HIV virus, and robbed him of his precious watch and wallet. They then threw him into the sea with the rest.

In the water, both Mohammad and Muthu more...

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.

"It took me only 5 months to do that," Ah Beng brags.

"Five months? That's too long" the friend exclaims. "You are a fool."

Ah Beng replies, "See this box, it is written for 4-7 yrs."