Aim Jokes

Two of the most common indications of nervousness are trembling hands and a need to urinate. It's hardly surprising, then, that the floors of men's airport toilets are soaked with piss: most of the gents who use the facilities are at least a little concerned at the prospect of their upcoming flight.

Until recently, the lavatories at Amsterdam's Schiphol airport were no exception, as nervous flyers emptied their bladders everywhere except in the urinals. However after a debate among airport staff, Schiphol hit upon a possible solution.

The cleaners began painting flies on the inside of urinals, the theory being that men would always aim for the little' fellas' (flies) in an attempt to piss them down the drain. And it seems to have worked. With 700 fake flies now resident in the airport's conveniences, the level of splashing has been reduced by 80%, and the toilet manufacturers are now producing a line of' bogs' (toilets) complete with pre-painted more...

Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad. The commander yells, "Ready... Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes. The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready... Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes. The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready... Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready. . . Aim. . . "Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready. . . Aim. . . "The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready. . . Aim. . . "The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Firing Squad
Three criminals were getting set to be executed by a firing squad. They were all tied up to posts,
waiting for the general to give the signal to the soldiers to shoot them.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
All of a sudden the first criminal yells, "Tornado!"
The soldiers and general are frightened by the call, running to hide in fear. The criminal unties
himself and escapes.
The soldiers gather themselves for the next execution. the second criminal realizes what the first
criminal has done, so he takes his shot as well.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
Then the second criminal yells, "Hurricane!"
Again the general and soldiers run in fright, giving time to the second criminal to escape. The third
criminal understands the trend and attempts the same. The soldiers get ready for the next attempt.
The general yells, "Ready, aim..."
Then the third more...

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.