Beng Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Man went for a job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind was shouting "Not this man! ! " Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told the man, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, maybe I will give you a chance! " "The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black". The man thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go Green, Green, and then I went to Pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Wrong number. Don't Purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok? "

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion. The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape. Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right." Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, more...

Ah Beng talks about Singapore history and current affairs... Under the' ang mo' we all live happily together, no complain.
Malaysia & Singapore is one big family in our brains.
One day we both like 2 durians cannot get along.
Got sharp thorns, poke each other, until' buay song.'
One moment like brothers, can give and take.
Next moment we kena kicked out by the leg.
Wah! Our towkay also cry like mad,
we all also feel very very sad.
Our neigbours all say,' Wah they all sure to die!
They got nothing, how to get next bowl of rice?' So' boh pian,' we all work day and night.
We also join the army so that we can fight.
We don't care others' see us no up'.
But actually inside we very pain in the heart.
Then slowly hor we grow rich and a bit fat.
Now others talk about us also got some respect.
They scratch their heads and say
' Very funny! Got nothing how come they can still make money?' Last time also got no money more...

Ah Beng was talking to his girlfriend's brother Ah Leng while walking down orchard road. Seeing a bunch of girls window shopping, he asked Ah Leng,' Ay, did you know your sister Ah Lian is like vely the bias one?' Ah Leng replied,' Really ah? Bias is it? How is she the bias?' Ah Beng exclaimed,' Aiyah, evely time we go Orchard Road she will always say,' Ay Ah Beng bias this lar please, bias that lar please.'