Benny Jokes / Recent Jokes

The builder
A cruise liner goes down in the Pacific and Benny is the only survivor. He manages to swim to an uninhabited island.
Many year`s later, when a search party finally comes to rescue him, they see that he has constructed two synagogues on his tiny island.
"Why the two synagogues?" the leader asks Benny.
Benny points to the nearest one and replies, "That`s the one I go to every Saturday. The other one, I wouldn`t go inside if you paid me!"

Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!"

"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine."

"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing."

Morris calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama."
The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up."
"But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?"
"It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain."
"But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?"
"No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision. I have more...