Bertha Jokes

Actual bloopers found on church bulletin boards:
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Taylors. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Bertha!
Bertha who?
Bertha-day greetings!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bertha!
Bertha who?
Bertha-day greetings!

These sentences actually appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service!

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a more...

Actual bloopers found on church bulletin boards:Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Taylors. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.Missionary more...