Betty Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three young men, filled with Christmas cheer decided to serenade a number of their female acquaintances with songs of the season.
At Betty's house they sang the mistress's anthem, "God Rest Ye Married, Gentlemen" - and Betty welcomed the gesture warmly with a round of egg nog.
Encouraged, the trio moved on to Alice's house, where they crooned the lament of the cherubs under stress, "Hark, The Harried Angels Sing!" Alice rewarded the smigers with glasses of steaming punch.
Buoyed by the spirits of the moment, the troubadours stopped next at Ina's house. Unfortunately, no one was home. Keen to have her hear them, yet feeling somewhat fatigued by their musical efforts, the leader suggested that they return the next day. "After all" he observed "we can always carol Ina in the morning.

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with' Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track?' Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

Married for 40 years, John and Betty decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding. They were discussing the details with their friends.
Betty wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress.
Betty replied, "Silver."
At that point, John chimed in, "Yep, silver... to match her hair."
Shooting a glaring look at John's bald spot, Betty's friend said, "So John, I guess you are going barefoot."

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy & Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing."

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit some more–would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, “Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it? ” Her husband snarled, “What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man? ” and sat down on the sofa. The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn’t work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, “Honey, the disposal won’t work. Would you try to fix it for me? ” Once again, he growled, “What do I look like? Mr. Plumber? ” The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, “Honey, the washer isn’t running. Would you check on it? ” And again was met with a snarl, “What do I look like? The Maytag repairman? more...

Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldnt pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. Darling! he blurted out, will you marry me? Of course, I will, you silly boy, she replied, who is it speaking?