Expenses Jokes

Dearest Girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 20th of Dec 2006. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of Dec 2006 at 1000 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six (6) months and depending on compatibility it would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship
training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 15 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be more...

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own room.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work more...

Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny him "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o. k." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Johnny answers "Well, so far, we've been lucky..."

In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work, you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison, you get three meals a day.
At work, you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison, you get time off for good behavior.
At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work, you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison, you can watch TV and play games.
At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison, you get your own toilet.
At work, you have to share.
In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work, you aren't suppose to speak to your family and friends.
In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from more...

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behaviour.
At work you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own loo.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work more...