Beware Jokes / Recent Jokes

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign sayingDANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed aharmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to bewareof?""Yep, that's him," he replied.The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look likea dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?""Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kepttripping over him."

A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?"
>> he asked.
>> "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our
>> clothes and commune with nature."
>> "Cool," said the guy, "... count me in!!!" So he paid his membership
>> fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he
>> saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he
>> saw another sign which read the same thing "Beware of Gays." He
>> continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze
>> plaque set
>> in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said,
>> "Sorry,... You've had two warnings!"
>
>

Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the door glass.

Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor near the cash register. He asked the store's owner "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep," the proprietor answered, "That's him."

The stranger couldn't help being amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me," he chuckled. "Why in the world did you decide to post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."
He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the more...

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign sayingDANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed aharmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to bewareof?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look likea dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kepttripping over him."

These are actual signs found around the world...
===================================
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At an optometrist's more...

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!
posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the
cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me.
Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."