Bicycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, Isn''t that Bush and Powell?"

The barman said, Yep, that is them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello, what are you guys doing?

Bush said, "We are planning World War-Ill."

The guy asked, Really? What is going to happen?

Bush said, "Well we are going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman.

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis."

Why Bicycles Are Better Than Women
1. Bicycles don't pregnant.
2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
3. Bicycles don't have parents.
4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.
6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.
7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.
9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.
10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle"
unless you go out and buy one yourself.
12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss
politics with it.
15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your more...

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His Mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well, Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. Why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead?"
After Leroy threw a temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room, where he finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle. Your friend, Leroy.
Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really understood what kind of boy he was - a brat - so Leroy ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year, and I want a new bicycle. Yours truly, Leroy
Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest either, so he tore it up and tried again.
Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year, and can I have a bicycle? more...

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.
Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q. What do you have when 100 Lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A Doberman.
Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of more...

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided
that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well
Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy
you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for
one instead." After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He
finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Leroy
Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat), so he
ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Your Truly,
Leroy
Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried
again.
Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a more...

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "Its a `thank you present", he explains, "from that freshman girl Ive been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girls clothes - and they wouldnt have fit you anyway!"

In a small town there were only two churches, one at each end of town; nearly everyone in town attended on or the other every Sunday. The respective pastors got by without cars and either walked or bicycled when getting around town.
One Saturday they happened to meet, one on his bike, the other on foot. "Brother, where is your bicycle?" asked the first one.
"Well," replied the second, "I'm not sure; either it's been stolen, or I rode it somewhere and then forgot and walked back home."
"Here's what we can do," said the first. "In our sermons tomorrow we will preach on the Ten Commandments, and we will emphasize 'thou shalt not steal.' That way, if someone has taken it or has found it, he will perhaps be moved to return it."
They agreed to do that and went their way. Two days later they met again; the second preacher was on his bike again. "Say, brother," said the first, "I see that one of our sermons did more...