Bidding Jokes / Recent Jokes

At the auction, the man’s eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding. Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird. As he was paying the auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, “I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I’m paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can’t. ” “Talk? Don’t you worry sir, he can talk, ” replied the Auctioneer. “Who do you think kept bidding against you? ”

A PARROT was up for sale at an auction. The bidding proceeded briskly, and before long a winner was announced. When he paid, the high bidder asked the auctioneer if the parrot could speak.
"Sure can," replied the auctioneer. "It was the parrot that was bidding against you."

Then there was the man who wanted to get something for his wife, but no one would start the bidding.

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

At the auction, the man's eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding. Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird.
As he was paying the Auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, "I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I'm paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can't."
"Talk? Don't you worry sir, he can talk," replied the Auctioneer. "Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Bidding - Additional Requirements
Section 1A - The Truth
The requirements of Division 01 and of those documents under bidding
requirements and conditions of the contract and anything else we don't
think looks good here is null and void. If you know what's good for
you, you'd read this real close (meaning the contractor).
1.1 The work we did is clearly showed in the attached plans and
specifications. Our engineer, whose had plenty of college, spent one
hell of a lot of time when he drawed up these here plans and
specifications, but nobody can think of everything.
Once your bid is in - that's it, brother. From then on, anything
wanted by our engineer, or any of his friends, or anybody else (except
the contractor) shall be considered as showed, specified or implied
and shall be provided by the contractor without no expense to nobody,
but himself (meaning the contractor).
1.2 If the work is did without no expense to the more...

Ole and Lena's bull took sick and died, so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one. Ole had to get the crops in and couldn't leave the farm, so Lena took the train to the city to buy a bull. If she was successful, she would take the train back to the farm, then she and Ole would go to town with the truck to pick up their newly purchased bull.
The bidding was furious at the livestock auction, and Lena found herself bidding on the last remaining bull. It took everything she had but ten cents, but she was finally the successful bidder.
Unfortunately, the train home was fifty cents. "Please, Mr. Conductor, couldn't you make an exception just once?" pleaded Lena. "Sorry lady," he replied, "but you can send your husband a telegram to tell him your problem. The office is just down the street."
At the Telegraph office, Lena asked, "Mister, how many vords can I send to my husband for a dime?" "It's ten cents a word," more...