Billy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said,
"She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor.""That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman.""Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

A young farm boy had accidentally turned over his wagon of corn. Hearing the noise, a farmer who lived nearby yelled out, "Hey, Billy Bob, leave it fer a spell, come on in here with us, then I'll help get the wagon up."
"That's mighty kind," replied Billy Bob, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw, c'mon," insisted the farmer.
"Well, ok, just fer a bit," Billy Bob said, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Billy Bob thanked the farmer and said, "I feels a lot better now, but I know Pa's gonna be real upset."
"Aw, don't be foolish," the farmer said. "By the way, where is yo Pa?"
"Under the wagon!"

One day Billy and Johnny were sitting in the park wondering why grownups have so much fun cursing.Finally Jhonny says to Billy,"Tommorow your gonna say' hell' and I'll say' ass."
So the next morning thier father calls them down for break feast."Billy,what do you want?" "Uhhh,what the hell,I'll have Froot Loops!" SMACK! Right on the back of the head. So he turns to Jhonny."What do you want!" "You can bet your ass I'm not going to ask for Froot Loops."

Animal Quiz
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She
holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone
knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "
See its long neck? What animal has a
long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks, "
Is it a
giraffe?"
"
Very good Sally,"
the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the
students holds up their hands. "
See the stripes on this
animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his
hand and says, "
It's a zebra."
"
Very good Billy,"
the
teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the
students recognized the animal. "
See the big antlers on
this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no
one guesses.
"
Let me give you another hint, it's something more...