Birthday Jokes / Recent Jokes
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new more...
Why couldnt prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
June 1st, was just a few short days away. It is a special day since it is the birthday of Rodney's wife, Cathy. Rodney asked his wife, what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," Cathy replied.
Rodney pondered this for awhile. On the morning of Cathy's birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to Six Flags Magic Mountain, a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park, Colossus, Batman Returns, Viper, Goliath, and all the other roller coaster rides there!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where Rodney ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie to see Spiderman. Rodney stopped by the concession stand and ordered hot dogs, popcorn, soda pop and candy. What a fabulous adventure! Finally Cathy wobbled home with her more...
Man l: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday" Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?" Man 1: "No, a VCP. . . Very Cheap Present!"
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny.
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?" His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything." Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out." So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch. He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass." Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. Excuse me for disturbing you, maam, he said politely, but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and Ive noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread! Thats right. Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....? Well, today is his birthday!