Blonde Jokes / Recent Jokes

What did the blonde's long sexy left leg say to her long sexy right leg?
Nothing, because they have never met.

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Why?"

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

a blonde walks into a store and see a TV and thinks i need that TV.so she walks to a salesman and says...
blonde:can i have that TV
sales man: no because your a blonde
so the blonde goes out of the store frustrated and then decides to get a red wig.
she puts it on and walks into the store and says...
blonde: can i have that TV
sales man: i already said no because your a blonde
so the blonde goes out of the store again frustrated and then decides to get a brown wig.
she puts it on and walks into the store.and says...
blonde: can i have that TV
sales man: for the last time no your a blonde
the blonde is so frustated she realy wants that TV so she asks...
blonde: tell me how you always findout im that blonde who wants that TV?
sales man:Lady thats a Microwave

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking through the desert. The redhead brought a bottle of water, the brunette brought a sandwich, and the blonde brought a car door.
When they ask the redhead why she brought the water, she replies"If i get thirsty, i can take a drink."
When they ask the brunette why she brought the sandwich, she replies"If i get hungry, then i can eat it."
When they ask the blonde why she brought the car door, she replies"If i get hot, i can roll down the window."

A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several students raise their hands. "Carl," she says. Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps 'cause they're contagious." "Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious." The teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!" Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up at the back of the class. "Yes, Johnny?" Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin' around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, 'Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence.'"

There were three girls that commited a crime, so they were going to get executed. There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde. The brunette was up first. The police officer said, " Ready, Set... "
" Tornado! Tornado! " yelled the girl. Everyone looked around, but to their surprise, there was no tornado, so the brunette escaped. Next was the red head. After seeing what the brunette had done, she did the same. " Ready, Set... "
" Hurricane! Hurricane! " yelled the red head. But there was no hurricane, so she too escaped. Finally was the blonde. " Ready, Set... " said the police officer." Fire! Fire! "