Body Parts Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: what did the left knee say to the right knee?
A: Check out those nuts there launching off a rocket.
There was once a guy whose tongue was so long that when he stuck it out for the doctor, the nurse went, "Aaaaaahhh!!!"
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was
taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she
had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "
Is my time up?"
God said, "
No, you have another 43 years, two
months and eight days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to
stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and tummy
tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the
hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "
I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that
ambulance?"
God replied, "
Girl, I didn't recognize you."
Bananas are better than MEN because...
~You don t mind swallowing a banana.
~Bananas are always stiff.
~Bananas don t kno how to fart.
~A bananas only purpose is to satisfy you.
~No one cares if you have 2 bananas in bed with you at the same time.
~Another woman will NEVER try to steal YOUR banana
~Bananas can last the whole night through.
~Even the smallest bananas are AT LEAST 8 in.long.
Don't try to understand the theory of relativity.
Relativity is like an erection - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.
The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:
- has to work hard;
- has to work at great depths;
- has to work upside down;
- has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work;
- has to work in a high humidity environment;
- has to work at high temperatures;
- does not get weekends and holidays off;
- does not get time off after extra hours of work;
- has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.
Request DENIED for the following reasons:
- does not work 8 hours in a row;
- does not answer immediately to all requests;
- does not have a degree;
- after a short activity period, falls asleep at work;
- shows no fidelity to the workplace;
- retires too early;
- does not work at all unless pushed from behind;
- does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.