Body Parts Jokes / Recent Jokes
Confusious say:
Man who walk around with hand in pocket, feel cocky all day.
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic
examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into
the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place
her feet in the stirrups.
As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He
completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him
in his office when she is done.
In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he
observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his
non-verbal comments.
"Oh, that" he says." I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest
vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice."
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a
woman come in twice a week and clean it!"
There was a boy who lost his eye and his parents coulsnt afford a glass eye so they got him a wooden eye. When he went to prom a few years later he saw a girl with a hairlip and asked her to dance and she said" WOULD EYE! WOULD EYE!" and so he thought if she made fun of him he would make fun of her so he said " HAiRlIP!"
CAN YOU TIE THEM IN A KNOT CAN YOU TIE THEM A BOW CAN YOU HANG YOUR BOOBS REALLY LOW CAN YOU PAINT A LITTLE DOT AND SAY IT IS HOT HOOT TEE TOOT TOOT HOOT TEE TOOT TOOT!!!
* I only have one eye * My hair is a jungle * My relatives are nuts * My Neighbour is an arsehole * My owner is a wanker * My best friend is a kunt
Ok this guy named Rhys david betts walks into a tatoo shop and asked the man if he could put a tatoo of a 100 doller bill on his penis. So the man said that it was no problem.Later the man asked Rhys why he wants a 100 bill on this penis. So Rhys then said "My wife hasnt bin giving me blow jobs lately, and she said she could blow a 100 doller bill in no time!!
A man is starving in the desert and he comes across a tree with houses in it. He knocks on the door and an old man answers.
AHH, a visitor, said the man. well come inside and ill show u 2 a room. The man went to his room at the highest part of the tree. Oh, and dont have a dream of torture or u shall evoke the Three Chinese Tortures.
So, the man goes to sleep and he has a dream of torture. When he wakes up he has a heavy rock on his chest and a sticky note tied to it. it says: 1st chinese toture, 100lbs rock on chest. So the man picked up the rock and threw it out of the window. A sticky note on the window says: 2nd chinese toture: rock tied to left testicle. The man screams as he is falling out of the room and he sees a chalkoard with the word: 3rd chinese torture: right testicle tied to bedpost. OUCH!!!