Bollywood Jokes

Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here
in heaven: Don`t step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together
and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn`t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Aamir Khan.
Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY more...

One cannot achieve succeess with every film. Audiences can
be unpredictable. The failure could be due to a bad script
or characterisation. All this is a part of the learning process.

- Amitabh Bachchan (Actor, Producer)


I refuse to be a doormat to any man. I will never allow
anyone to push me around. I am my own mistress.
- Manisha Koirala (Actress)



Why should I try to imitate Kajol? I am not a
mimicry artist.
- Rani Mukherjee (Actress)


It's strange that Rakesh Roshan thinks I look older than Hrithik.
In fact, he's approached me for all his home productions.
- Aishwarya Rai (Actress)


Just because I'm an actress, why should anyone dare to
assume that I have no morals?
- Preity Zinta (Actress)


I still have a long way to go. People will realise the difference
between Shah Rukh Khan and a one-movie-wonder like me.
- Hrithik more...

After a great success of Aishwarya Rai's movie Bride & Prejudice all over the world, Indian government wanted a special postage stamp with her picture on it to recognize her. Government stress that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and Indian Government & Aishwarya Rai both were pleased.

But within a couple of days, began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. Indian Government ordered CBI to investigate the matter.

CBI checked out at several post offices, and then reported to the Government Officials that: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, all the peoples are licking on the wrong side of the stamp."

WHY not make Dharmendra the Governor of Tamil Nadu in place of Chenna?

He would be definitely more acceptable to the barelegged heroine of Izzat movie in which both gave very good performance. Moreover now Dharmendra has experience too in handling the Tamilian superstars which Chenna lacked and failed.

Have you ever wondered what would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in "Bollywood"? The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay". Well here it goes!


Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "Bad Man" everytime he sees Shahrukh.

Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die.

Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the world.

The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album.

The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta. more...