Bomb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Owners of Target franchises make plans to open stores back up again.
Instead of saying "We are under attack, please take shelter," citizens are now told, "Here we go again, you know the drill."
Everyone wears sunglasses all the time.
Sarcastic giggling heard just behind live CNN reporters.
Yesterday's lead headline in most Iraqi newspapers was "NBA Lockout Continues."
Every time a bomb explodes, Iraqi class clown yells out, "Oh my Allah, you've killed Achmet! You INFIDELS!"
Instead of running for cover at the sound of the air raid sirens, the Iraqis do the "Tomahawk Chop."
Hussein's latest address to the nation included the line, "We must resist the Great Satan, yadda yadda yadda...."
Christiane Amanpour is being invited to rooftop bomb watching parties all over Baghdad.
Baghdad High's senior class has playfully painted a bull's-eye on the roof of the school.
Iraqi Television Network more...
1.) THE PRINTER SHREDDER: This simple device can be added on to any printer, and will shred any document the comes out of it.
2.) FAKE MOUSE:a fake mouse runs in a wheel that is connected to your computer. as the mouse spins slower/faster, your screen will become darker/lighter "yeah. I just installed it. It really saves on power costs."
3.) AUTO BAD SPELLER: This program can take any document, randomly choose correctly spelled world and then spell them incorrectly.
4.) TALKING COMPUTER: This simple program, when put on someone's computer, whispers "psst! Hey Bob!" at random intervals.
5.) SMOKER: This simple add on makes a monitor smoke. The amount of smoke will increase with the length of time the computer is used.
6.) RANDOM ERROR: When installed, this will generate insensible error messages extremely often, no matter what they are doing at the time.
7.) TRACER: This program will generate messages more...
There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was "war".
The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an atomic bomb." He gets his applause and steps down.
The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen bomb." Again, there's applause and he steps down.
And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, "I'm dynamite."
Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked why, he says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"
1. THE PRINTER SHREDDER: This simple device can be added on to any printer, and will shred any document the comes out of it.
2. FAKE MOUSE: a fake mouse runs in a wheel that is connected to your computer. as the mouse spins slower/faster, your screen will become darker/lighter "yeah. I just installed it. It really saves on power costs."
3. AUTO BAD SPELLER: This program can take any document, randomly choose correctly spelled world and then spell them incorrectly.
4. TALKING COMPUTER: This simple program, when put on someone's computer, whispers "psst! Hey Bob!" at random intervals.
5. SMOKER: This simple add on makes a monitor smoke. The amount of smoke will increase with the length of time the computer is used.
6. RANDOM ERROR: When installed, this will generate insensible error messages extremely often, no matter what they are doing at the time.
7. TRACER: This program will generate messages such more...
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afforda larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told himthat he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in' Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beercan, hold it to his ear and more...
If you think you're having a bad day...read these true stories!
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girl friend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked more...
If you think you're having a bad day...read these true stories! 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girl friend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running more...