Middle East Jokes

President Obama is sending a women's badminton team to Iran this week. It's less expensive than soldiers, and more offensive to the Iranian government.

Sudan has found the British teacher who allowed students to name a teddy bear'Muhammad' guilty of insulting religion and inciting hatred against Islam, and has sentenced her to 15 days in jail and to deportation.

Upon hearing this news, people all over Sudan began naming teddy bears Muhammad.



While jurists in the free world mostly agreed with the Sudan verdict, they disagreed with the charges, saying that the teacher instead should have been convicted for insulting a teddy bear.

They argued that naming a bed of nails or a guillotine'Muhammad' is one thing, but warm and fuzzy objects such as teddy bears truly run contrary to Islam.

Iranian president Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University in New York.
You know who’s got to really hate this? The former president of Harvard. All he did was say women aren’t as good at math as men are, and he got fired. He recently told the media, “I make a sexist comment, and I lose my job. Columbia’s Chancellor invites a Jew-hating despot to talk on campus, and nothing happens to him. You do the math…because I can’t get it to add up. Now I know what chicks feel like.”

Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, consulted a psychic about the date of his death.

Closing his eyes and reaching into the realm of the future, the psychic revealed the true answer. "You will die on an American holiday."

"Which one?" asked bin Laden.

"It don't matter," said the psychic. "The day you die will be made into an American holiday."

---
Submited by Rudyard Yap

A Middle Eastern passenger at Chicago's O'Hare airport was stopped by screeners when they noticed a susp*cious looking object in his bag. It resembled a grenade and when asked, he said it was a bomb.
It turns out it wasn't a bomb, it was a penis pump.
See how important penis size is to men? He would rather let people think he was a terrorist than a man with a small penis. The only thing he wanted to blow up was his tiny man-fuse.