Boomed Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price.She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize." As if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks."In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price. She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize."
As if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price. She thought she`d die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize." But if that wasn`t bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY! YOU! THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole.
Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, YOU DUMB BLONDE, I OWN THE @$#&! ICE RINK!
1. CURL UP AND DIE
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
Melinda Lowe, 39, SeguinTX
2. PAD PLEASE
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad.
He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
Kate Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC
3. HO, HO, HO
I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take
a more...
Embarrassing moments The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine. 1)"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" * Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia 2)"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was more...