Tampax Jokes

A little boy went to the doctor's office and was just a little bit nervous, because he had to get a shot today. The doctor noticed this and tried to calm him down, "If you had a million dollars what would you get?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "A box of tampax." The doctor was confused and asked him why? "Well," the little boy said. "The commercials said that if you wear them then you can swim, ride a horse, or do sports anytime you want to."

A competition was recently held to find out the most embarrassing moments in peoples lives. The following are the final four places.
Fourth Place.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amok. I was finally able to grab hold of, her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself' right now', she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,' If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'.
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.
Third Place.
It was the day before my more...

A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price. She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize."

As if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV ads, just to make conversation. "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation."Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"Well," said Johnny, "I don't know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."
Stupid Insults 16/31 "His pointers are null / uninitialized. His puzzle is missing a few pieces. His reaction time is longer than his attention span. - Thaves His root file system isn't mounted. His seat back is not in the full upright and locked position. His shared libraries aren't installed. His signal-to-noise ratio is epsilon. His spark can't jump the gap. His spirit guide is a three-toed sloth. His stack's not very deep / he has an eight-byte more...

Q: Why didn't the sanitary pads say hello to the Tampax?

A: Because the Tampax were stuck-up cunts!